Sunday, December 8, 2013


“You know why we will never be together, right?” she asked as we woke up one summer morning the sun streaming into her happy room.  “Because you,” and she turned to look at me across the pillow, “ are too much of a reductionist.  You are too … digital.”

“It is a scientific position,” I said.

“No it isn’t” she said. “It lacks any analog dimension.  It’s short sighted.  Love is analog.  There is no love in your system.” 

She was right of course but I couldn’t admit it then.

“You think because you got damaged you could ignore love. ”

“Not exactly,” I said. 

“Yes, exactly.  Because you don’t love.  You like.  But you don’t love.  And that doesn’t make sense because love is everywhere.  In ways that simply don’t compute in your system. “

“I don’t think …” 

But she wouldn’t let me even start.  “We have talked about this a million times.  And its cool.  But realize the human race selected for love too – it is something that gives the organism survival value.  But you can’t recognize that.  And that’s cool too.  But I can’t tell you a slightly prickly personality without love is someone I want to hang with.  I love you but I cannot create love in you.  That is up to you.  You have to decide you will love.  You have to decide you will reach out, break through your box, and do it without calculation to every single person.  And to me.”

She slowly smiled, a sad smile, at me, got up and kissed my head.  ”Love you.”

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