Sunday, December 8, 2013

Keep On Top

I found these pages in a series of handwritten notebooks in a box of material left in a remote storage facility I had rented.  They are interesting enough for me to retype and post here, which will occur as I am able.

I have tried googling and binging and other search engines to find out more about the author or subject matter, but nothing appears, which may mean nothing or everything, as you will find out if you read further.

The earliest post, the one to start with, is here -- a July 1 entry which is the date I typed it and posted it here.  The notebook pages themselves lack dates.

ED. NOTE ...

This note is ONLY for those who have been going from earliest entry to now...a guidepost if you will..


If you are keeping track overall, the structure is:

- earliest entry, which started this story, in this blog here,

- then I started the second blog here and this blog continues here, both in tandem for two entries,

- then the second blog only continues the story here,

- and now the story reverts back to this blog here.


I am tired of writing.  I am tired of this.  Hell isn’t other people, or burning in eternal torment.  Hell is nothing.  No contact, no stimulation, no interaction with the world.  Hell is being trapped in a box.  Hell is something I’ve designed for myself, carefully and with all the resources I could.

The third book Jim put in the box was lying underneath the Sartre book.  Descartes’ Meditations on First Philosophy.  I had read this years ago.  I still remember cogito ergo sum.  I think therefore I am.  I can’t think here anymore, too much despair.  Does that mean I am not?


I’ve been trying to rouse my spirits.  I will solve this I will.  I will get out of here soon and solve it.


I am without much sleep or pretty much anything else.  And I am only halfway…I will go crazy in here.  I will.


One of the other books Jim had left were Sartre’s “No Exit” – hell is other people.  Bastard. 


I haven’t been able to find a mathematical solution.  The is a little more than a day left to my unboxing.  I am tempted to forget trying.  At this point it is a matter of challenging the best minds of the past 100 or so years, from Einstein to Bohr, Rutherford to Pauli, Feynman to Hawking to Penrose.

Entanglement is an outcome of their thought.  How can I challenge it?