Shit. I had fallen asleep. None of this was there, as I slept, and I can’t remember my dream but I was happy and content and at peace. Now I am up, and a little groggy, and back in my depressing depressing state.
No interaction. No people. I’ve done something unique answered so many questions and get to suffer in purgatory as a result.
When I went to Catholic School, when I was young, we had a discussion of purgatory. Our teacher was a good guy, the kind of priest that truly seemed to care – he helped me in couple ways back then. He was kind of an Irish alky too though (no offense Jim!) amiable, we called him Father Bleary though if memory serves his name was Leary.
“Purgatory, children, is kind of halfway point for some people. We pray for the souls in purgatory because even though they are in grace and friendship with God, and they are saved, they still aren’t quite pure. They go to purgatory for purification before they enter God’s presence, because nothing unclean can enter God’s presence.”
What do you do in purgatory? Someone asked. “pray?”
“We don’t know. It’s not like heaven, where you are in God's presence, or like hell, where you undergo constant punishment and torment. We don’t know”
The class was quiet as we all contemplated, in our fourth grade minds, the question of being purified in purgatory. I remember thinking what would you do? Maybe not fire like in hell, but maybe it’s kind of hot? How do you get purified? What if you don’t? Off to hell with you?
Me, now, in purgatory? Maybe I, after all, invented a purgatory on earth. Halfway between heaven and hell? How do I get purified?